


Not Good Enough

by CourtNicxVoltronxYJ



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Depressed Dick Grayson, Dick Grayson has an eating disorder, Gen, Hurt Dick Grayson, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, self-harming Dick Grayson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-08-10 02:41:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20128021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CourtNicxVoltronxYJ/pseuds/CourtNicxVoltronxYJ
Summary: This is all about Dick. He feels like he isn't good enough for anyone, he continues to push and push himself, finally reaching his breaking point and can no longer handle it all. Jason is there to help him out.





	Not Good Enough

**Author's Note:**

> *Depression, self harm, eating disorders etc.*

Wayne Manor| 3:45 A.M.

Dick woke up to the darkness and loneliness within his chest and room. He had just recently got back to the manor after a very long night of patrol. All he did when he got back was strip out of his Nightwing suit and head straight for the showers then right off to bed. He turned and reached for his cell phone on his nightstand and clicked it on, getting a blinding white glow to the face. He blinked for a few seconds before his vision adjusted to the glow in the dark room. He looked at the time and sighed, running a hand through his ebony hair. He had only been asleep for 45 minutes and was already up and feeling like he couldn't go back to sleep. He checked his phone for any messages but found none. He quickly began to text his best friend, Wally, but he stopped before he sent the message. The feeling of being a bother to his friend washed over him quickly. He now felt like he didn't matter to his friend and didn't want to bother him because he couldn't sleep.   
Dick sighed and shut his phone off. He then pushed himself from his bed and threw on some clothes and headed down stairs to the family gym.

Once inside the gym, Dick worked out until is was five in the morning. He quickly headed downstairs to the Batcave to find it completely empty. Figuring since he was already up that he could go ahead and begin some work. He began to pull up a feel files and drove straight into them. 

After what felt like forever, he figured it would be best to leave the cave before anyone asked him any questions. He left the cave and silently walked towards the living room where he could clearly hear shouting. He rolled his eyes and pushed the doors open. 

Both Damian and Tim were fighting, about who knows what, they were constantly fighting with one another. Tim had a busted lip and Damian's sleeve was ripped. Jason was laying on the couch, enjoying a cup of coffee while the other two fought with one another, he had a smirk on his face enjoying the little fight before him. He did totally nothing to stop it whatsoever. Damian quickly kicked out at Tim and pinned him to the ground giving him a bat glare. Tim was about to slap Damian when he looked over and saw Dick. 

"Hey Dick!" yelled Tim.  
On a normal day, Dick would stop the fighting and fix everything. But today, he just couldn't. He quickly glanced over at Jason then at Damian and Tim. Damian taking hint that Dick wasn't coming over to pull him from Tim hit him once more and the arguing started up again. Dick sighed and took a step forward towards them. Even though he wasn't in the greatest mood, he had to put an end to this before it really got out of hand.

"Guys enough.'' said Dick. They looked at him, awaiting for more but got none. "I'll be in my room if you need me.'' he said and quickly turned around and left the three boys alone.

\-------------------------

In his room, Dick was completely lost in thought. He was feeling very low right now and he couldn't really pin point a reason why he was feeling so down, but he was. His mind continued to attack him, telling him that he was worthless, useless, unwanted, nothing, alone, unloved, not good enough, broken and Dick believed every single word. 

His depression was back and as strong as ever and was kicking his but at the moment. Dick pushed himself up into a sitting position on his bed and looked down at his arms. They were covered by long sleeves to hide his past. He slowly slid them up and looked down at each scar that he left upon his body. He slowly ran his fingertips over a few cuts, trying to remember how it felt to cut.

_"Do it. You can do it, just one cut. No biggie, just one cut to feel, to escape. You need to do it, to forget...to punish yourself. You're nothing! You're worthless, no one cares about you. You are all alone, no one loves you. Just cut. One cut." _thought Dick, who sighed and reached into his nightstand for his blade that he hadn't touched in 2 years.  
The blade within his hand felt heavy, similar to his heart at the moment. He turned it in his hand, staring at it for a moment before he convinced himself to cut.

Dick slowly brought the blade down upon his skin. He pressed the metal against his skin and paused for a moment. He then sighed and pressed down a bit harder and slowly pulled the blade across his skin, it stung a bit but the pain from the cut was overpowered by the release he got from it. Dick's eyes widen, for he had truly forgotten what it felt like to cut and how much he really missed it. Even though he told himself one cut, that isn't what happened. After cutting for the first time in two years, Dick now was hungry to feel more, so he continued to cut. He cut his wrist until he had 10 new cuts. They weren't deep and they didn't bleed long but the feeling him got from them was what his mind was starving for, for so long. Dick clean himself and the blade. He quickly put everything away, rolled down his sleeve and acted as if nothing had happened. He laid back on his bed and closed his eyes, now guilt was filling him up.

_"I screwed up! I cut...after being clean for so long. I messed it up. I messed everything up! I'm a failure.''_ thought Dick. Tears soon filled up his beautiful blue eyes and ran down his face as he cried, feeling awful.

After some time, there was a knock on his door. Dick sat up and whipped his face of any few stray tears. "Come in'' said Dick and he looked up to see Jason walking into his room.

"Dick it's time for dinner.'' said Jason.

Dick didn't like the idea of eating right now. The very thought of food made him feel sick, he didn't want to eat, he couldn't.  
"I'm not hungry.'' Dick said quickly to Jason. Jason tilted his head to the side and looked at Dick. He narrowed his eyes at his big brother, he could now see that Dick's eyes were a bit red and puffy, showing signs that he has been crying.

"Well, you gotta eat. Alfred has already set the table, everyone is waiting for you. And besides, it looks like you could use it. Your looking way too skinny.'' said Jason, beginning to worry about Dick now. Usually Dick seemed to be always fine but Jason the past few weeks has started to noticed Dick being somewhat off, unlike everyone else who didn't seemed to notice something being up with Dick.  
  


Jason held his hand out to Dick, waiting for him to take it. Dick sighed and shook his head at Jason, letting a small smile appear across his face before taking his hand. As soon as he took Jason's hand, Dick stumbled into Jason. He was over come by a wave of dizziness. 

"Whoa, sorry Jay. I'm...just a bit tired.'' said Dick who rubbed the back of his neck. Jason nodded his head and the two of them walked downstairs.

Everyone was at the table eating, except for Dick. He just sat their quietly and watched his family eat and talk, he barely listened to their conversations. After drowning out everything, Dick shoved himself from the table and left the room quickly, alerting everyone to his strange behavior.   
Dick made it to his bedroom, closed his door and made it straight to his bathroom, his mask of being alright was quickly slipping away and tears were becoming heavy within his once bright blue eyes full of hope. He closed the door and turned to look at himself in the mirror. Dick wore a sad smiled, trying his hardest to convince himself that he was alright but it wasn't working at all this time. He drew in a shaky breath and began to sob silently. He ranked his pale shaky hands through his midnight black hair and finally let the tears in his eyes fall down his face.

"I can't do this anymore..." Dick whispered and slid down and sat on the ground. He pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms tightly around and shook. 

What Dick didn't know was that Jason had entered his room quietly to check up on him after he ran out of dinner. He was just about to open the bathroom door when he heard a small sob. Jason frown and inched closer, his fingertips brushing against the cool metal doorknob, when he suddenly heard Dick's small broken voice whisper, 'I can't do this anymore'.   
Jason froze, he was shocked hearing this. Hearing this from his always happy brother, his strong brother who did everything for everyone but did nothing for himself. Dick always followed the rules, he did everything that was asked of him and more. Jason shook his head and pushed the door open and was frozen still where he stood.   
Right before his eyes was his big brother, Dick, on the ground with cuts on his wrists.

Dick quickly looked up at Jason and went over towards the door to shut it and kick Jason out of there.  
"JAY GET OUT!" Dick yelled as he pushed the bathroom door to close it, but Jason didn't listen to him. Jason pushed the door aside and quickly entered the small room and knelt down next to Dick. Jason grabbed a towel and laid it down upon his bleeding wrist.

"Dick what the hell?!? Why...why would you do this? What's going on here Dick?" asked Jason. Dick finally broke and was now crying loudly, his whole boy shook with sobs.

"I'm done! I-I can't do this anymore, I'm so tired. I'm so tired of it all. It hurts! It's too much to handle Jay, I-I can't!" yelled Dick and Jason reached forward and brought Dick into his chest. He held onto Dick as he continued to cry.

"Shhh Dick, it's okay.'' whispered Jason as his heart broke a bit seeing Dick like this.

"I'm done pretending to be okay! I-I..." Dick began but Jason cut him short.

"Dick stop! It's going to be alright Dick, you don't have to pretend to be happy if your not. It's not your fault. I promise it's all going to be alright Dickie.'' said Jason and felt Dick wrap his arms tightly around him. Dick cried and cried into Jason's chest until he fell asleep from exhaustion. 

Jason sighed and removed the towel. The cuts weren't too deep but a few looked like they might need stitches. So Jason quickly patched Dick up and lifted him up in his arms and carried Dick to his bed. He gently laid Dick down and covered him up. Jason sighed and pulled the desk chair over and sat beside Dick, for he knew that Dick would need him when he woke up, he just hope he was good enough to help Dick out. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to anyone who read this.


End file.
